Ways to deal with a controlling partner Pt 2
Don’t strive for their approval.
Remind yourself that you are a mature, capable human who doesn’t need constant approval and validation—giving up wearing blue because it’s not your partner’s favourite, trying to like sushi because your partner would want you to, etc. Don’t seek approval for every little thing you do; don’t play the victim. Have your own choices and do what makes you happy, don’t try to mould yourself into someone your controlling partner wants you to be.
Have a life outside of your relationship
The relationship is a part of your life; don’t make it the centre of your existence. A right way of dealing with a controlling partner is to have something going outside the relationship, hang out with friends, have a hobby and enjoy your own company. This will add positivity to your life, and you will be more self-aware, enabling you to take a stand for yourself; it will add perspective and strength to your personality, and you’ll have more confidence in dealing with your partner.
Don’t be dependent on your partner.
A little financial independence is essential, being utterly dependent on your partner gives them an upper hand, and they might think it’s their right to make all decisions for you and make you live according to their liking. This will boost your confidence and self-worth, and if your partner knows that you are in a relationship with them by choice and not because of your needs, they won’t take you for granted and will try to mend their ways.
This is the best way to deflect control, know your worth. None of us is perfect; learn to love your imperfections, don’t feel guilty about them. Practise confidence-boosting exercises, like talking to yourself in the mirror, etc. Love yourself for your individuality. Don’t get intimidated by other people even if you are madly in love with them. When you love yourself, you’ll know what you should be accepting, what you truly deserve. Don’t lose yourself trying to love someone else.