Can men be relied upon?

Dear ObaaYaa,

We grew up in the same vicinity, shared our aspirations and plans of the future together and got used to each other.

Being the first man in my life, l did all l could to demonstrate my genuine love for him and my willingness to be his wife eventually in holy matrimony. Out of love, l got pregnant on two occasions for him but he impressed on me to abort the pregnancy since it will put a lot of burden on both of us as a young couple.

Whenever l pledge my love for him, he would respond by saying that since l was created from one of his ribs, he would love me till death do us part. He further gave me the assurance that l would definitely form an integral part of his future and would do everything to love me just as l love him.

On occasions that l demanded he should officially come to see my parents and perform the preliminary knocking rites, he would brush the issue aside and give me the assurance that he would surely do that at the appropriate time.

But l was shocked to the marrow when a friend whispered into my ears that my lover was making plans to marry from a nearby town. This person wanted to find out if we had separated, a condition which has given him the opportunity to marry another person.

Though the person who had given him the information to me is respectable, and could not carry false information, l did not believe it because my lover will not treat me like that in view of the love between us and the assurances he had given me.

But l had the greatest shock of my life when my uncle came to confirm the story and blamed me for giving my whole life to this young man whom he described as ungrateful and very wicked.

His concern was that, having moved with him for all these years and what l had put in the relationship to work, there was no way he should treat me like a rag. It would have been worse if he had known that l had aborted two of his pregnancies.

I am totally devastated, confused and do not know what to do.

With this behaviour, can men be trusted?

Ama, Koforidua,

Dear Ama,

I can envisage the pain in your heart and how disorganised you must be under the circumstance.

I am pretty sure you must be thinking about the possibility of becoming barren as a result of the two pregnancies you had caused.  It is difficult to nurse your interest in a person you love and have the hope that you would be happily married only to get the shock of your life like this incident.

Though it is not easy to overcome this sort of problem, l would appeal to you to let bygones be bygones, face the challenge and re-organise your life.

I would plead with you not to raise any alarm since he has decided to do what pleased him. There are occasions people pay for the wrong that they have done. Kindly give your concerns to God and the arbiter of your life will bless and direct your steps in life.

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