Dear Obaa Yaa,

My elder sister and her boyfriend want to settle down in September but there is some confusion over who will give out the marriage list. My mother thinks my father does not deserve that honour because he had abandoned us for the past 15 years.

The two-bedroom self-contained house in which we live belongs to my father. He owns other houses also which my mother has rented out. My mother is threatening to disown my sister if she involves our father in the marriage arrangements.

Our father has apologised to us and we have forgiven him but I do not know why mom is still bitter. We have tried to convince her but she will not listen to us. What do we do?

Mabel, Kasoa.

Dear Mabel,

Irrespective of whatever happened in the past, your father still has a place in the marriage ceremony. Once he is alive, he has to take the bride price and bless the marriage. However, your mother may be bitter because she might have endured a lot of challenges in the last 15 years when your father was ‘absent’.

Engage your mother once again and help her to forgive your father so they both can support the marriage ceremony. You and your siblings can as well talk to elders in your family to talk to your mother. Hopefully, things will work out because your father’s blessing is important in the marriage. But if all possible resolutions fail, respect your mother’s decision.