Should l revenge on my ex- boyfriend?

Dear ObaaYaa,

Our friendship started from the Senior High School through to the university where it developed into a lovely relationship. Despite the intermittent quarrels and misunderstandings which pertains to many relationships, we stayed glued to each other and life went on well.
Per our promise to each other, we managed to abstain from sex until marriage. Though we stuck to the promise we made, it got to a time we could no longer resist the constant temptation and sex became very common for us.
Irrespective of the fact that we were sexually active, l was shocked to realise at the hospital that l was two months pregnant.

My major challenge instantly was how to disclose the news about my pregnancy to my mother. Though l knew that she would not be happy with my conduct, hell will break loose if my father hears about the silly thing l have done.

As though the mental torture was not enough, my boyfriend pleaded with me that l should abort the pregnancy because he was not prepared to cater for me and my baby.

A few days after, my mother detected that there was something wrong with me but l denied and quickly followed up to abort the pregnancy due to the insistence of my boyfriend.

Though the abortion was carried out by an expert in a hospital, l bled for almost a week and was gripped with fear. l managed to return to the hospital to see the doctor who had worked on me.

He gave me a different tablet to take which stopped my bleeding.

Unknown to me, the pregnancy had caused an irreparable damage to my womb and this rendered me permanently infertile.

This devastating news was disclosed to me when all attempts to conceive eluded me after marriage. My fear is that my husband is worried and eager to know the cause of my inability to conceive.

What should l do?

Abena, Accra.

Dear Abena,

I can guess how frustrated you must be and the fear that your husband could know details of your medical report. The only condition in marriage for which divorce is permissible is when the man for example is impotent and for that matter cannot perform his conjugal duties.

Though relatives and friends maysometimes ill-advise couples to divorce as a result of a childless marriage, ministers of the gospel willnever permit a separation on such grounds.

In your case, your husband will be angry if he gets to know that the fault is from you, and for that matter he could easily divorce you or pick another lady.

You and your husband can settle on adopting a child to appease your desire to have a child at all cost.

Alternatively, this suggestion should not come from you, but in case your husband impregnates someone outside the marriage, you can allow him to take custody of the child.

Though it is painful to recount the experience you had with your boyfriend, do not beworried too much about the past.  What you ought to fight for is the stability of your marriage.

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