Be on the same page

All your friends are married

How do you know you are not ready for marriage? You have been going to other people’s wed­dings for the past year and a half. You seem to have a permanent seat at the bride and groom’s table. You are tired of being asked, “So, when are you two going to tie the knot?”

If you are feeling left out because all of your friends have become “Mr and Mrs”, expand your social circle to include other non-marrieds. Clearly, you are not ready to get married and are just caving into peer pressure.

That is a much healthier way to handle this situation than moving forward with a wedding, just because you hate being the last unmarried couple at Bunco night.

You think your partner has the potential to change

You want to marry the person your partner is, not the person you imagine they can be. While people do undergo some changes are they mature, they do not change funda­mentally. Whoever your partner is right now, that is the person they will always be.

So entering a marriage thinking it will magically change your partner into being more responsible, more ambitious, more caring, or more attentive to you is a huge mistake. Choosing to get married because of this false notion is also one of the signs you’re not ready for marriage.

People don’t change just because they exchange wedding rings. If you are not ready to get married it doesn’t imply that you will remain lonely till the end of your life.

Leverage this time to understand what is making you feel cold feet, build trust in your relationship, set and maintain healthy boundaries, make future plans, and ask yourself what you’re looking for out of a mar­riage and your partner.

By taking note of signs suggesting you are not ready to get married, you will be able to work at strength­ening your bond, work at the areas of improvement in your relationship and build something special together, that has what it takes to weather the storms of a married life together.

Then use these insights to first build a solid relationship with your partner and then take the plunge when you both feel fully ready to. Remember the popular idiom, “We will cross the bridge when we come to it.”

Source: www.marriage.com