• Be patient and work at your relationship copy

 Perhaps you can think about these ups and downs and curves in the following way. Sometimes when you go on a trip you get directly to your destination with ease in a timely manner.

If you use air travel, sometimes the checking in and boarding processes are as quick and efficient as can be. The flight leaves on time, it’s as comfortable as can be and arrives on time. Other times flights are delayed or cancelled. Or perhaps the plane goes through a great deal of turbu­lence. Travel and life are inconsistent and uncertain. Relationships are surely like that too.

How to Manage Ups and Downs in Your Relationship

• Understand that ups and downs and fluctuations are normal and know that they are surely going to happen

• Be patient, kind and compassion­ate with yourself and your partner as you navigate the changes and curves

• Look back to where you were and where you are now in terms of growth

• Write down signs of progress

• Address concerns and issues as they arise to thwart building resentments

• Communicate regularly with open­ness and honesty

• Seek input and advice from friends or an experienced professional to help you see things objectively

• Take responsibility for your part in the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship

• Allow yourself to feel your feelings—your grief, relief, sad­ness, joy, sorrow, loneliness and anger

As I reflect on my work with Ann and Charlotte, Loraine and Peter and Ken and Kim, they all arrived in my office having a range of concerns about their relationship. They expressed hurt, anger, fear and loneliness. They felt unheard, uncared for and unsupported and wondered where the joy, passion and intimacy that they once felt had gone. Over time each couple began to communicate more effectively, to heal their wounds and to have more harmony, support, caring and understanding in their relationship.

They came to understand and accept that there were ups and downs in their relationship, and developed the resources to deal with them. Please know that you can do the same!

Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging as­pects of being married.

Source: www.marriage.com