A lot of people can get intimidated by talking about the future. So intimidated, in fact, that they forget what these types of conversations actually mean. You’re not trying to talk about your future to torture your girlfriend or make her freak out. You want to talk about it because you want to spend your future with her! Does she know that she’s “it” for you? If not, I’d highly recommend starting there. Say something like, “You’re my person. I can’t see my life without you. The idea of thinking about spending our lives together makes me so freaking happy.” Something simple like that opens up the doorway to talk about your future in a joyful way, instead of a pressure-driven one.
Communicate clearly
Talking about the future can bring up HYPERLINK “https://www.bustle.com/articles/162478-6-ways-to-confront-a-fear-of-commitment” fears, insecurities, and anxieties. Just as important as talking about the specific details of your future together is talking about the best way to talk about the future. You mentioned that you and your girlfriend are both daydreamers who like to play things by ear, so it’s sounds like you probably have similar communication styles. Still, it’s worth asking your girlfriend questions like, “what’s it like for you when we talk about the future?” and “what’s the best way for us to talk about our future?”
Get clear on what you want
From there, it’s time to spend a little time thinking about what you’d like out of your lives and your relationships. You already mentioned most of the biggies in your question — HYPERLINK “https://www.bustle.com/articles/161363-should-i-have-kids-7-questions-to-ask-yourself-before-you-make-any-decisions” do you want to have kids? HYPERLINK “https://www.bustle.com/articles/163088-how-to-know-if-marriage-is-for-you” Do you want to get married? What places are you interested in calling home? What do you want to do with your careers? Do you have any financial goals?
Think about setting yourself up for success
Planning your future isn’t just identifying what you want; it also involves figuring out how to get there. With the stuff you know you want, start having conversations with your girlfriend about how the two of you can get there. Say something like, “I know we’re both daydreamers, but I want to make sure we set ourselves up to keep living the kind of life we want to live.” This process can help really big lofty goals feel a bit more tangible.