Talk to someone
Have you ever tried talking to a friend about your struggle to open up? Sharing your struggles can make the burden lighter and feel less heavy. But if you already tried this and it didn’t work, you can talk to a counsellor.
There’s nothing wrong with you just because you speak with a professional about this. If you really want to know how to be emotionally available and have a healthy coping mechanism, talking to a counsellor is a very responsible and mature thing to do.
Change your mindset
You might’ve heard this already, but we’ll say it again. Your mindset is so powerful that it can control everything, including handling relationships and dealing with emotions. So if you have a negative mindset, then you’ll naturally be distant and unavailable.
If you want to let down your walls and learn to open up to others, you need to change your mindset. Stop thinking that everyone is out to hurt you because that isn’t true. Your present does not equate to your past, ever.
Discuss your fears with your partner
To stop your tendency of being distant, you need to be reassured that your fears won’t happen. So you need to have the courage to tell your partner your fears and talk about this with them. Also, if something triggers your emotional distance, tell them about it and maybe, they can also do something to avoid that trigger.
For instance, if you’re only distant in intense arguments like yelling, your partner could be aware of this and avoid resorting to that altogether.
Set boundaries
Boundaries will always be important in relationships, especially if you want to learn how to be emotionally available. They help keep the respect in the relationship.
For example, if you tend to become distant when you become too giving because you fear they’re taking you for granted, then set boundaries. It doesn’t mean you love them less, but you’re just respecting yourself enough.
So, how to be emotionally available?
You can practise opening up to others by taking this slowly instead of rushing things. Remember that letting go of your walls will be a tricky thing, especially if it’s your coping mechanism when hurt.
Focus on your goal, which is learning to be emotionally available, and you’ll get there eventually.
Learning how to be emotionally available won’t happen overnight. But eventually, you’ll get better when you practise expressing your emotions and facing your fear of vulnerability.