Why you should open up carefully in a new relationship
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could trust the motives of every person you met? In a perfect world, you could meet a new friend, tell them all your darkest secrets, and know that they would be there through thick and thin.
Sadly, many people pay a considerable price when they’re too trusting of others. While you may have all the right motives, some people only use others because they want something in return.
Thankfully, there are people in this world that will be a true friend. They will stand beside you no matter what life throws your way.
But if you tend to divulge too much too quickly when meeting someone, you need to be careful. Here are some reasons why you should open up carefully when entering new relationships.
Let’s assume that you met a lovely lady and shared a night of drinks and laughter. During this period, you felt so comfortable that you started telling her about all the pains of your past. You’ve placed yourself in a very vulnerable position by exposing yourself heart to her.
She can take that information and file it in the back of her mind for future reference or use it to get ahead in life. What if this woman was trying to push you out of your position at the office? Any dirt you give here could be used against you.
Though life doesn’t function like a court of law, keep in mind that anything you say can and will be used against you. When you keep that mindset, then you will monitor what you say. Never tell anyone anything that you are afraid they will repeat. No wonder it’s said that gossip can be as cruel as the grave.
Maybe you have money, or you hold a prestigious position. Anyone new in your life might not be there for the right reasons.
You must open up carefully when it’s someone that knows you have authority or clout, and they want to use that to their advantage. They can use words as sweet as honey and pretend to be your best friend. The sad fact is that they are only in the relationship to see what they can get.
No one likes to be vulnerable and exposed. Even if a friendship starts on the right foot, what if things go sour later on? Anything you’ve said can be used against you.
What if you told your girlfriend that you once tried a serious drug while in college? You never became hooked on the drug, and you didn’t even like how it made you feel. However, they put their spin on it, and the story becomes worse.
It could go around your place of employment, house of faith, or group of friends, that you have a drug problem. When you tell secrets, they are open to interpretation. Your view of things may not be how someone else views it, and it can end in disaster.
Push others away
What if you have a past that isn’t the best? Nobody is perfect. You could have a divorce, affairs, past drug abuse, bankruptcy, and all sorts of things that you’ve dealt with in life. What could happen if you don’t open up carefully?
Could you scare others away? What would happen to a new friend if they found out your deepest darkest secrets? Would they still want to be friends with you?
No law says you have to open up about your life. You can choose what you divulge to your friends, and some secrets should remain buried.
Trust takes time
It takes months or even years to build the kind of relationships that last a lifetime. Don’t be so eager to dive right into a friendship. Whether you’re dating someone new or have a new best friend to hang out with, be careful and allow yourself time to build trust.