If the above question is put on a wedding day just before the vows are made, it would be an interesting scenario.

This seemingly simple question could easily re­sult in the cancellation of the wedding. It can easily become the beginning of the end of the marriage since it has the potential of weakening the trust, which brought the parties together in the first place.

The reason for the po­tential confusion that this question of who would like to die first can bring, is that death is not something any sane person would gladly embrace.

It brings all your dreams to a sudden halt. It brings sadness and the very thought of it approaching brings fear into the hearts of many people.

Therefore if a person you are about to marry, who supposedly loves you beyond measure can choose to be selfish and say that they would not want to die first in future when you are living as man and wife, then trust issues become an important factor.

Indeed I think this ques­tion ought to be included as part of the officiating rituals during weddings as a test of true love between the couple to be.

If your partner is willing to leave this world first be­fore you do, then clearly he or she really loves you and I believe this should be an appropriate test of love.

The question then arise as to which of the two people to be joined in holy matrimony, should the ques­tion of who would like to die first be put to? Should it be the man who must first be asked or should it be the woman?

Given the generally accepted practice or saying that ‘ladies first’ then it is only fair that the question is first put to the woman. This is where it can get interest­ing.

I see a scenario where at this point the lady will politely ask the officiating Pastor to kindly ask the man first and the man also politely asking the Pastor to kindly ask the lady first.

This back and forth can easily generate tension even before the man and wom­an are joined together as married couple. Things that can bring separation or di­vorce are numerous and are usually very trivial things so people should be careful.

If you really love some­one, in my opinion, it should not be difficult to readily offer to be the one to first leave the world and leave your wife behind as a man.

The decision to volun­tarily offer to be the one to first answer the question will depend certain factors in the relationship prior to the wedding.

If a lady demonstrate respect for her husband to be during courtship, then it will not be difficult for the man to readily respond that he will be willing to die first before his wife to be.

One of the things men in general expect in a relation­ship is respect being shown to them by their partners to be. There are several instances of weddings that had been called off due to the man or woman involved developing cold feet at the very last moment and decid­ing he or she was not going to go ahead with the wed­ding and so calls it off.

We must all acknowledge that death is part of human existence and therefore one day it will happen to us or our partners. If we psyche ourselves up adequately, then when it happens, as it inevitably will one day, it does not devastate us.

The natural occurrence is for the elderly to go first but the reality is that that order is not always fol­lowed. I went to one of the posh cemeteries in Accra and saw the picture of a 14 year old boy as part of the structure erected on his tomb and I felt so sad.

If I who is not related to him felt sad, can you imag­ine what his parents had gone through and might still be going through on each anniversary of his birthday?

Whether young or old rich or poor, death can come suddenly so we ought to take note of this reality make a deliberate choice to live for Jesus Christ so we shall not miss Heaven because Hebrew 9:27 “…it is appointed unto men once to die… the judgement”.

By Laud Kissi-Mensah