How to be a supportive partner during difficult times (Part 2)
In our previous two editions, we highlighted some tips when your partner is coping with difficult issues either at work or in other aspects of life. Let’s wrap up where we left off.
Be an encouragement
When your man is beaten down to the ground, you may be the only person who can lift his spirits. As committed partners, you should be each other’s biggest fan and cheerleader. Sincere encouragement can go a long way when your lover feels like he’s a loser, and everything is his fault.
Find helpful ways to offer words of praise and encouragement that are genuine and specific. Remind him of his vast talents and past achievements, and how you’ve overcome obstacles victoriously in the past. It may boost his spirits enough to realise that nothing is forever, even problems.
Choose your battles
One of the most natural emotions to display is anger, especially for guys. In reality, anger is a formidable mask to cover fear and powerlessness. It’s not easy to be supportive when your partner is taking his anger and frustration out on you.
In these cases, you can take so much until you feel like snapping. Although it’s easier said than done, try to step back and be an objective observer. When people are hurting, they usually lash out at the ones they love who are trying to help.
If your lady doesn’t feel like talking, just let her know you’ll be there to listen when she’s ready. Please resist the urge to be an armchair counsellor and try to pull the issues out of her. She will probably end up feeling resentful of you, and she will shut down any conversation in the future.
When you are your lover’s safe place, she feels free and safe to display anger and say what’s on her mind. However, that doesn’t give anyone the right to abuse you verbally or physically.
If your man is feeling grumpy about everything you say or do, refuse to be taken into his dark mood. You’ll probably find that something is on his mind, and he will apologise for taking it out on you.
Find a source of strength together
You and your partner are composed of body, mind, and spirit. These work in tandem for your total well-being. If any aspect is askew, your entire being will be affected. Being supportive doesn’t mean you have all the answers or strength.
When your mate is going through a hard time, learn to draw from your spiritual strength. Look to your Higher Power together as you both perceive it. Whether your religious traditions involve prayer, meditation, or other spiritual connections, empowering your spirit can help each other when life’s storms are overwhelming.
Know when to ask for help
Even with your best efforts to be supportive, some problems are too much for you two to handle. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a mental health professional. There is no shame in seeking counseling when you need it.
Many people seek counselling from their trusted spiritual leader. You can always feel free to talk to your primary healthcare provider to refer you to a licensed therapist. Perhaps the problem is a mental health issue that has yet to be diagnosed.
Be sure that your partner is a willing participant, and you see counselling as a strength, not a weakness. She may choose to go alone or ask you to join for moral support. Choose an experienced counsellor who makes her feel comfortable, so she can freely discuss the issues that are happening in her life.
When a couple is in a loving relationship, they are empathetic, even in the worst of times. In trying situations, be the first hand that reaches out to him or her in a nonjudgmental way to form a stronger partnership. A time may come when you’ll reach out to him or her in your hour of need, and they will be there.