Will you encourage marriage within same family?

I was betrothed to an influential man in my family who performed my marriage rites when l was a teenager. Though l was at the ceremony and nicely decorated with the best ornament, l did not understand the significance of what took place that day.

When l completed the university, l was not given a breathing space but asked to move into my husband’s house, although l was not mentally prepared for marriage.

I must admit that l was not enthused about getting married to this man but since my parents and the family head impressed upon me, l had no choice but to accept the offer.

Frankly, l am not happy in this marriage because our way of life and perception about issues are different. I have tried hard to tolerate his character but l think things are moving out of order.

This has generated frequent quarrels, l often lose my heart beat and this leaves me in total fear.

I am planning to leave the marriage to the displeasure of my parents.    

Will l be taking the right step if l go ahead with my plan? 

Abena, Koforidua.

Dear Abena,

Our elders treasured family marriages in order to protect their children from maltreatment, provide them with the love, security and help preserve their wealth.

Parents know the character of their children and the sort of spouse that will be suitable for them, hence the decision to arrange for family marriages.   

Since parents conduct background checks of would-be spouses of their children, it is also believed that picking one of their own is better, and some successful marriages can attest to this special arrangement.

The uniqueness of God has brought about the differences in each person’s character and the way we do things and react to issues.

Unfortunately, some of these marriages do not work out well as one would have expected because the individuals did not get the opportunity to study each other before getting married.

Having tolerated him all these years, it will be ideal if you can cope with the differences since they are not life-threatening and live together, especially if there are children in the marriage.

But if things are not getting better, then you can inform your parents that you cannot bear it any longer.

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