Dear Obaa Yaa

I am 28 years old and it has always been my dream to marry before 30 years.

I met this guy who loves me and I loved him too, but I think I cannot date him.

The guy is so caring, loving and he has all the qualities I need in my future husband.

Unfortunately, l had an af­fair with his work colleague a year ago. Though, that affair between me and the gentle­man has ended, l feel like I cannot continue to date him.

I haven’t told him about the affair because I don’t know how to go about it and I’m scared of how he would react.

We have known each other for months and l feel like telling him but l can’t help myself because it will hurt him so much.

Though l love this gentle­man, the fact that I can’t date him kills me slowly. My heart is in pains because I love him and I feel like l have betrayed him.

Please, should I go ahead and tell him?

Lucy, Accra.

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Dear Lucy,

There is no need crying over spilt milk. You willingly went in for that secret affair despite the fact that you claimed you loved him.

Your behaviour suggests you cannot stand the least pressure in your relationship and this could create serious problems for you.

If you really love him, under no circumstance should you have betrayed his trust. All the same, the harm has already been done but you must make conscious effort not to repeat that mistake.

This is the time for you to redouble your love for him. You need to make sure he plays a centre stage in your life.

What has happened should serve as a warning and a guide throughout your rela­tionship.

Since you can guess his re­action if you should tell him, keep it to yourself and let this serve as a warning and guide for you throughout your relationship.