My husband has cheated on me for more than 15 years and even after he promised me it was over, I found he was still paying the same woman for sex.

I am 48 and he is 53.

We have been married for 18 years and I have spent most of that time bringing up our now adult children alone.

After I discovered his affair four years ago, he promised me he had ended it but would remain friends with the woman.

I found out through their messages that even after their affair official­ly ended he still paid her for sex.

He is the breadwinner, and he has always kept his spending a secret and given me a tiny budget to run the house.

He goads me into having arguments so he can walk out and spend weekends with his lover.

I finally told his family how his behaviour was affecting me, but even then he tried to blame me.

Privately, he told me I should have left him if I felt so unhappy.

But he told his mum he loves me and wants our relationship to work.

I am not sure how I feel because he is still in denial and won’t admit to my face what he has done.

Celestina, Ashaiman.

Dear Celestina,

I am sorry for what you are going through in your marriage.You really do not deserve this treatment, considering the commitment and loyalty to your husband but I am hoping at the end of my write up, we would be able to get to the bottom of it and get a solution to your problem.

First of all, I would advise you to talk to your husband for the last time about his bad behaviour and give him options to choose you or the lady he is paying for sex.

Bring your grown up kids in when you confront him and let them talk to him. If after all he doesn’t stop, then leave him.

At age 54, you should be enjoying the fruit of your labour and not stressing or worrying about marital issues.