Be open minded in a relationship

Be friends first

Those who tend to be emotionally distant have the worst commitment and trust issues. So if you want to learn how to be emotionally available, developing friendship first is a great strategy. Your friendships are probably a lot deeper than any of your romantic relationships have been.

Slowing down and deciding to just be friends for a while can help you open up without the added pressure of all the drama dating can bring.

Talk about complex matters

Trust issues will be a primary factor that triggers your emotional unavailability. So instead of going for small talk, discussing deep and meaningful subjects can help you get to know them better. Don’t keep talking about your work or your day, but go for issues and complex matters.

This will help you get to know them in an intimate way but it’ll also force them to get to know you. When you discuss controversial topics, you won’t be thinking about it in terms of opening up. It just feels like you’re just chatting about things you have strong opinions about. This is why guarded people love talking about deep subjects; it doesn’t force them to open up.

Commit to the idea of opening up

If you can’t commit to being more emotionally available, you won’t be. You need to make a conscious decision to be more open and stick to it.

Growth will always be uncomfortable, but you need to dedicate yourself to letting others in, even if every fibre of your being tells you to run away and shut down.

Working toward it every single day will ensure that you get there someday. Focus on your goal, and you’ll get there eventually.

Be empathetic

Think about how the other person feels. Do you think it would really make them happy to see you being so distant all the time? It probably hurts them. Not to mention the fact that they probably don’t think you care about them as much as you do. So if you want to know how to be emotionally available, learn to empathise with others.

Think about how it would feel if the situation were reversed and take it from there. For instance, in an argument, instead of shutting down and possibly walking away, remind yourself to practise empathy so you can see why they’re upset.

Realise how much you care about that person

Do you truly care about the person you want to get close with? If so, you really need to be working toward showing them how much you care. And that means opening up to them. Especially if you’re afraid to lose them, then you need to do everything in your willpower to let them in and become vulnerable.

It takes a lot of courage, but have faith in yourself that you can do this. You can’t, in good conscience, care about someone deeply without showing them who you really are.

To be continued…